You don't have to read this one if you don't want guys. I'm basically typing my thoughts. I needed to wright them...talk. I wanted to call Tyler, but he's out fishing so yeah. Plus I'm kinda crying so yeah. I'm okay for now though.

Anyways, I don't think I've ever told any of you about my Poppy, my mom's dad. He was my favorite papaw. Truthfully the only one that's ever showed he cares. (my mamaw Jeanie has had many husbands. three for each of her kids. then the ones she's been with since i was five, Harold)
Well, Poppy and me were close. I called him when I was mad at mom, I was a baby He was always there for me, and I know he would be now too. But he passed when I was 2. He died in March and I turned three in June. And my cousin Chase was born that May. He never met Poppy. (don't be sympathetic, I'm okay lol) He was killed in a car accident on March fifteenth. I can remember that day and some of the days I spent with him before he passed. Apparantally that day I 'saw' him. I wasn'y alowed to go to the funeral so II didn't know what the accident had done to him. On my way home when dad picked me up, I looked at dad after babbling to myself in the back seat and said "Daddy, what happened to Poppy's face?" It scared him. So I know he's always with me. Always. But I miss him so much. I can't remmber what he sounded like and without my pgots I have out...I wouldn't even remember his face. But I do remember the things we did together. Eating fudge cookies and pizza roles while watching The Mighty Ducks........
Okay, enough of that. I'm tearing up. What made me start thinking this was that for fourteen years, I've been without a papaw. Neither of my papaws came to my 16th birthday. It botherd me. Papaw Steve didn't show cause grandma Ann made a direcTV appt. So that was more important apparentally. Papw Harold, because him and mamaw were fighting. I know if Poppy were still here. He would have been the first person here. He wouldn't have missed any of them. He was amazing and loving.

So, tonight while I sat here, cried and thought this up. I've decided I wanna make something for him. For the 14 years he WAS here with us. In our hearts and wtaching over us. Our family. I'm gonna take what few pics I do have and make sumthing. I hope you all enjoy it. I think it's good to make sumthing for our lost love ones. They're still here, always with us. We just can't see them. T

Thanks if you read this. Sorry it's so long and sad, I was just inspired to do this.
It's about one a.m. here so I'm gonna head off to bed. Night.

So tonight I getta go n see me some fireworks
Then there's the yummy family cookout coming up in like an hour
My aunt and her three boys will be here, along with my uncle Wade and his two boys.
So Mary, Cody, Jacob and Dylan. And Wade, Chase and Lane. I dunno if my aunt Mendy'll be here, she works

Tyler'll be here in a bit But until then I'm just gonna sit back n wait Listen to some tunes and talk to people online or the phone
I just L-O-V-E these little emoticons!! Especially him--->

What? Me? No! I am NOT crazy!

Well, I shall try n get some new pictures tonight....maybe. But I'll try n get some new stuff up. Happy fourth!

Love you all!!!


......

Well.....Friday was my sixteenth birthday. I got an Adobe Photoshop
I've been playing with it some, it's kinda hard lol.
I think I've uploaded three things I've worked on. But I was just trying to figure out the color in the b&w photo thing. I'll get more up, once I work on it some more. I gotta teach myself lol.

But I also gotted the prettiest little heart neckalce from Tyler He's so sweet and I love him so much. Mom got me the Photoshop and a Penguin necklace that I love
And my mamaw gave me her Pontiac Grand Am. I think it's a '99. But I gotta getmy liscence before I can officially take it. Better get to work on that haha.

Well, I'll try n work on some new stuff while I wait on noon to role around, then i gotta call tyler. Maybe I'll getta see him today

Bye-bye all.

Okay....so I lied! I made another journal!

Okay, so I've posted lots of new stuff and I'm hoping you all like it.
I'm gonna try n get some more new stuff up. More than likely just pictures and maybe some drawing if I can make myself focus enough to get it done.
As me and discussed, I must be committed to it or it'll never get finished. Thank you shelby I yew girly!

I'm hoping maybe I can get some new pictures though. Maybe some of those close up ones I'm liking so much. Maybe I'll beg Tyler to be my model I think he might. he loves me so if I beg he'll maybe let me have a few.

Okay, well I deleted the speely junk I was quite tired n slap-happy last night. But today I won't be doing an art stuff, maybe. There's really nothin significant to capture the moment for. Nothing's happening. It's a nice, sunny, warm, breezy day outside and too boring to go out alone so yeah. I may get it out in a bit and go take a few photos outside. Maybe. Tomorrow I'll prolly attmept something, just cause.

Me and my aunnt are starting to plan my mother's baby shower. So many invitations to make, the stuff we gotta buy. She isn't due till October but we wanna make sure we have it planned and everyone that we're inviting is prepared and not told at the last minute. SO much stuff to do for it. Well, I'll chat it up with you later all.

Okay, so I've uploaded a crap=load of pictures and poems and that one drawing so I have to say I'm doing better lol. I'm actually uploading and trying to make new art. =]
Tonight, I'm very bored so humor me, I've made a list of some ideas n I'm gonna try'em out soon. They're picture ideas and I will be working on a new drawing soon. I promise!

My gay birthday is coming up in a few weeks. June 26th. I'm turning sixteen and I'm not excited one little bit. It doens't seem that big of a deal to me. 'Cept that I getta go soemplace fun with my girls. I miss'em.
Well, I'm gettin slap happy. It's after one in the morning lol. Nighty nighty all.